This post is something I’ve been a bit nervous about sharing, but it’s something I really wanted to talk about. Rejection. Rejection is an absolute arse. Whether it’s in your career, relationship or from society and people in general, pretty much everyone will go through the absolute crapbag of rubbishness that’s being rejected in some way or another. Me? It’s job interviews. I usually do alright at getting them thanks to my surprisingly not-too-shabby cover letter writing skills, and a few times I’ve been ALMOST there (and I do have a job now!). At the beginning, I took it incredibly personally, and felt like I was worthless and stupid and I’d never get anywhere in life. It actually really, really got me down, but I managed to pull myself back up and I’m a lot stronger for it, even if I do still have the occasional wobble. These are a few ways I’ve learnt to cope with rejection, hopefully they’ll help anyone feeling like they’re in a similar position.
Let yourself get upset
Rejection sort of feels like an emotional kick in the stomach, like you’re about to vomit all the shock and disappointment out while you do a big snotty cry session. So let yourself cry. Moan, whinge, sulk, swear about the source of your rejection – but don’t let yourself dwell on it for too long. Once after not getting a job I was desperate to get and felt really hopeful for, I went into the work toilets and bawled my eyes out (we’re talking full on ugly-cry here). After ten minutes of wallowing in my own self-pity, I kicked myself in the ass that I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on the next opportunity. Plus, people might have thought I was doing a massive work poo.
Look to the future for a pick-me-up
One thing that really helps me after a job rejection is looking at how many other options and opportunities that are out there to take advantage of. Once I’ve done with self-loathing and suitably reapplied my makeup to cover my fat, puffy eyes, I get straight on to the job sites. Even if I can’t apply there and then, knowing there are five more I could apply for that sound even more fun/rewarding/better paying gives me a boost that it’s not even close to over, and it won’t be until I succeed. This works in a relationship sense too – even if the last thing you feel like doing after being rejected by the love of your life (who barely even knows you exist *sob*) is dating anyone else ever, scoping out some eye candy on Tinder reminds you that when you’re ready, there’s plenty of hotness just out there waiting for your right-swipe.
Other people rock
I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been without other people around me to not only help dissect everything that seems to be going tits up, and reassure me that I AM awesome and I WILL get there. Whether it’s chatting to my similarly-boated twenty-something chums or my boyfriend taking me to eat steak and drink beer as a cheer up, it’s a reminder that there are people out there who see the best and believe in me.
Learn from your rejection
As much as it seems cool to throw your rejection to one side with a Beyonce-style swish of your hair, it’s important to also learn from it. It’s pretty basic stuff, but if you’ve missed out on a job interview, send an email to the interviewer thanking them for their time and asking for feedback. Been overlooked for an amazing blogging PR campaign? Ask why! If it’s something you can change or work on, getting that extra edge will really help when the next opportunity knocks – and as lame as this sounds, if you keep pushing and don’t give up, something will definitely knock.
It’s not me, it’s you
Rejection is something that’s incredibly personal – by being rejected, you instantly feel like it’s a bad reflection on you. You’re too boring for the cool people to invite you out, too stupid to do the job you want to do, too ugly for someone to like you back. As someone who’s felt all of those things (and really been hit hard by them in some cases) on multiple occasions. The Dita Von Teese quote above popped up when I was looking for an image to illustrate this post, and it really stuck a chord with me. In the end, not everyone is going to like you, because not everyone likes or wants the same things. As long as you’re being your best self and kicking life’s ass with a smile, eventually something will click. So go, be that juicy, ripe peach that you are – and fuck the haters, because PEACHES ARE AWESOME.